Like vultures,
Bald and pink –
Even ugly feet
Look handsome in the air.


Yesterday morning was one of those ‘bacon for everybody! Freshly squeezed orange juice! The world is my playground!’ sort of mornings. I was roaring like a lion at 6am and begging Tosc not to go to work. But go to work he did. Bloody workaholic.

So I went out for a very, very long walk – tipping my imaginary hat, snapping my imaginary braces, smiling at children and women and dogs. By the time I got back home my legs were shaking uncontrollably. I didn’t even care.

I stayed in last night (not sure I can handle drunken self-cathing in public lavatories just yet…) but going to the pub for a quiet one tonight, close to home in case I have to make some mad dash.  Might go swimming this afternoon. I might book a weekend break for me and Tosc. I might I might, because I can, I can.

God you don’t know how relieved I am to not have that damn blasted fucking catheter anymore. I can walk around naked and not want to vomit at the sight of myself! I CAN PUT MY PENIS INTO THINGS! (Willing things, obviously).

I just feel so…liberated. Still a bit rubbish at ‘doing it myself’, but Jesus Christ it’s so good to be freeeeee.

Anyway – I’m going to do a very un-English thing and go all soppy and Californian on you. Please anyone who’s reading this, if you’re in good health, do me a favour. Whether you’re a man or a woman, fat, thin, young, old -look at yourself naked in the mirror tonight, just you on your own, then put your arms around your body and love the damn thing. Love it love it love it love it. Love the bony bits and the scarred bits and the fat bits. Because no one on earth takes the time to just wallow in health. So wallow, wallow, wallow, like beautiful hippos, give yourself a massage and congratulate yourself for being so absolutely bloody exquisite.

And if you’re not in good health, try to do the same – but if you can’t, know that it well get better. It will.

It nearly always does. x