I am taking a break from blogging etc because right now I’m pretty busy and trying to have fun away from the computer, but I’ll probably be back next time my health decides to fuck up/have some writing to share.

I’m going to go out and live life for a bit. Lots to doooo…..x


I watched you
copy the way she ate,
And your children
would not kiss her.

He and I would sit
in the Blair Witch sauna
to talk about India
and I would take his hand
when he could not breathe.

You marked out the vase
with a nod,
But I wanted the girl
on the bank,
combing combing combing
out the years.

That girl will comb through my life,
At number 23.

Enjoy the vase.

Sorry for absence, I have been having sex and running and having sex and running and lifting weights and running and also running.

Best week of my life. So much sweat…

Will be back shortly with poems etc! xxx

Tosc and I did a personality test the other day – thought I’d share it here because the results were scarily accurate and a lot of fun to read out loud with a loved one. If you’ve never done it before, it’s called the Myers Briggs personality test and you can take it here:


I’m an ENFP (the Inspirer – which sounds rather nice) and Tosc is an ESTP (the doer – a ‘blunt straight-forward risk taker’, snort.)


Toscar Texts

Just about to wipe some texts and thought I’d copy a few out that made me laugh.


Tosc: What you up to?

Me: Watching Gone With The Wind and drinking whisky x

Tosc: Slavery and booze. Just another normal day for your sort.


(Tosc is out for a Christmas meal with people from work)

Tosc: Crackers, hats, jokes. Kill me again and again. It’s like a bad Alan Bennett play.

Me: Just keep smiling and think of England. x

Tosc: That’s what I do when I’m being gang raped. This is so much worse.


Me: So did you buy the speakers?

Tosc: Nah, I think they’re hot.

Me: Hot? Like – stolen? x

Tosc: No, actually boiling hot. Course I mean stolen.


Me: Would you still love me if I had a tube hanging out of my abdomen?

Tosc: No.

Me: Aw.

Tosc: And you’ll probably give it a pet name like ‘wiggly’ or ‘tubey’ and it’d piss me right off.


Tosc: I found a walking stick in a skip. You want it?


Tosc: Would you go to prison for murdering a shitnosed teenager? Cos he hasn’t got much of a future. So…


Me: Wrote a poem about you showering before bed. x

Tosc: Must be a boring poem.

Me: Thanks.

Tosc: What? I don’t get why that’d be interesting.


(Tosc sent me a christmas card and wrote a rather sentimental message inside.)

Me: Love the card. x

Tosc: It was a toss up between writing some meaningful shit or sticking a tenner inside.

Me: Glad you went with the meaningful shit! x

Tosc: Yeah I thought a tenner would just insult you.

Can’t believe I’m posting poems and blogging from the pub but Tosc’s been talking to a dullard about football and other masculine pursuits for about an hour. How do I swerve this conversation towards badminton and cravats?

I wonder…