My Cat Is Evil : The Evidence

  • Is a cat (inherently more evil than dogs, slightly less evil than hawks.)
  • Stole a Goddess’s flower garland, mauled it and hid it.
  • Purrs whilst attacking.
  • Enjoys the night.
  • Sweet smelling breath.
  • Is a known murderer.
  • Reads The Daily Mail.
  • Thinks my poetry is ‘meek and valueless’.
  • Spelled out ‘I FUCK YOU DEAD’ in Scrabble Tiles.
  • Purposefully eats more than he should so that he vomits.
  • Has a red collar.
  • Swears constantly.

3 thoughts on “

  1. This is how bored I am.

  2. Well your cat can join my ‘friend’ who said people only like my poetry because I am a girl.
    Am I a girl? Really?
    I did have an awesome cat in Paris, he was lovely except for the dead mouse (he could at least have eaten it) and his threatening suicide out the window every now and then whenever I was busy enjoying a croissant.

  3. Wow – shitty thing to say to a friend. Especially since a lot of highly appreciated poetry is written by men about roses and daffodils and such. So it doesn’t even make sense…

    As for the cat, in my household he’s the one eating the croissant and I’m the one threatening suicide. He doesn’t even stop chewing. x

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