My Cat Is Evil : The Evidence
- Is a cat (inherently more evil than dogs, slightly less evil than hawks.)
- Stole a Goddess’s flower garland, mauled it and hid it.
- Purrs whilst attacking.
- Enjoys the night.
- Sweet smelling breath.
- Is a known murderer.
- Reads The Daily Mail.
- Thinks my poetry is ‘meek and valueless’.
- Spelled out ‘I FUCK YOU DEAD’ in Scrabble Tiles.
- Purposefully eats more than he should so that he vomits.
- Has a red collar.
- Swears constantly.