Weird Things I Do When I’m Alone

(Part of the 30 Day Blog Challenge)

 

Watch bad TV in the nude,

Misuse handcream –

for something rude,

Pretend that I’ve lost both my thumbs

(And time myself how long it takes

To roll a fag or wash a plate),

Kiss my hand,

Text an ex,

Watch pixel-people having sex,

Lie upside down,

Head on the floor,

My feet pressed flat against the wall,

Wondering what it would be like if

The whole world was all skewwhiff.

 

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