miley boredom, etc

Feeling a little rough today. (No! You say. But you never feel rough! You’re always so fit, so high on life! ) Well, these bad days happen to us all, doncha know. I’ve been dicking around with my meds lately which might explain the sudden splurges of creativity embroidered by moments of heart-breaking sadness. Can’t get a certain something off my mind. I wonder if I should write about it, or maybe just leave it inside my head like an old wound, and stop picking at it.

I saw the Miley Cyrus video this morning (that’s not the ‘certain something’ that’s been haunting me but, y’know, not far off) – Jesus Christ, the only thing that stops it from being porn is the lack of a huge pulsating cock thrust through a glory hole in that wall she’s trying to knock down. Such a confused sexual message, there’s no artistry in it at all. It veers from being all Sinead O’Connerish (I am emotional and tearful and beautiful) to NAKED NAKED I AM FUCKING NAKED AND I’M GONNA LICK THIS HAMMER GODDAMIT I’M GONNA LICK IT LIKE A LOON AND SWING ON THIS NOT-VERY-METAPHORISH WRECKING BALL JUST LIKE THE ONE IN THE TITLE AND I AM NAKED.

Alright Miley, Jesus. (What’s that Garbage song go like? “Yeah yeah we’re looking at ya…”)

Seriously though, I stopped watching ‘straight’ porn a while ago for exactly the same reasons. Just too…in ya face. And there seemed to be no choice – every clip was the same, the same grunting anonymous muscly bastard and the same Barbie Doll gal with big tits and 20 inch heels. I have nothing against these types of videos  (aside from the fact that they’re boring as hell) but what I do take umbrage with is that you actually have to look for videos that resemble actual, normal sex between a regular man and woman. Most modern porn doesn’t even feature any KISSING for fuck’s sake. Kissing! One of the sexiest and most erotic things two people can do with one another, and it’s casually dropped out of the whole porn business as though it doesn’t matter. Don’t straight men get off on kissing, then? Isn’t it on the spectrum anymore? Am I that far removed from what heterosexual men enjoy?

I don’t want to be one of those ‘think of the children!’ types but when the most insidious aspects of modern pornography are informing the music industry and how it reaches out to kids, I think we’ve got a problem. I don’t want to live in a society where kids (boys as well as girls) are pressured into behaving a certain way, their sexualities being shaped to fit the videos they’re fed, so that it all eats itself like a snake gobbling up its tail, a big plastic consumerist circle jerk.

For me – Miley’s video isn’t just jarring, it’s really rather weird. What the hell is she trying to say with all this applesauce? It’s so self conscious.  I think that’s my main problem with it actually – it’s nudity for the sake of nudity, gratuitous for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Y’know, at least Madonna made us think for a minute. Whatever happened to subtlety?

Maybe I’m just getting old. Aw, man.



9 thoughts on “miley boredom, etc

  1. I haven’t seen the latest Miley thing, I had hoped the thick(e)-twerking would be enough, and am at work now so won’t go there at this point in the day. Golly am I with you on the straight porn. Can’t watch most of it. I love sex with men, I love men, and am extremely excitable, but it is just so boring, and BamBamBam – it doesn’t look like they are having much fun. Where is the silliness, the mischief, the joy, the excitement, the fun? A bit of BamBamBam is fine, probably good in fact, but not only that. Aren’t people supposed to have fun when having sex? How am I even asking this question? I started to get scared of what I was going to come across with straight porn (so much kind of… domination and … boredom) so now mainly just look at lesbian porn which is a lot more creative. Now some people would start saying “closet lesbian alert” – well so, I would swing both ways if I had the opportunity / was single. But I definitely like guys and am head-turned by guys more often. And I am a visual person (put a picture of the bits of a decent guy or girl in front of me and I get wet – isn’t that visual?) I don’t understand this “women aren’t visual creatures” thing in the mainstream mindset – have I misunderstood ‘visual’? 

    Anyway, all I can say is I’m with you on the state of a lot of music videos and mainstream consumer crap and… well, I’m glad that I missed most of that when I was younger (I too am getting old) as I am pretty sure I would not be as happy and having as much fun in bed if I had seen it when I was just ‘starting out’. 

    Also, something I have learnt the hard (haha) way, bewarebewarebeware of men that are keen but don’t want to kiss you.
    [rant over] 

    • It’s funny, the myths about what turns on the separate genders (men visual, women hush-hush whispers in the night) it’s all bollocks.Every girl I know watches porn and is turned on by it, and speaking for myself, I love reading erotica and talking dirty – sometimes the things you can’t see are the sexiest things of all.
      Gay porn (and I’m assuming lesbian porn, though haven’t really watched much) is creative, and the boys sometimes even *smile* at one another. Think of that! Smiling whilst screwing! How risqué!
      I think there was a study done on the genders and sexual arousal – threw up some interesting results, I’ll try to find it x

      • Yes! Smiling and even occasionally making crude and/or silly jokes and LAUGHING! Humour & sex? Scandalous.

        I was lucky, I did a History paper in my first year of uni: Sexual Histories, from Medieval to Now (or something along those lines) before I had even had sex, which was an eye-opener in more ways than one. The mantra was: sexuality is a social, historical, religious and cultural construct. Key word: construct. That paper was probably the best thing I did at uni. Well… until my first boyfriend anyway. 😉

        Was it Kinsey & Co who showed women getting just as excited, if not more, as men when being shown porn – including girl-guy, guy-guy, girl-girl…? I’m pretty sure that was the result…

        I am with you on the things you can’t see. Maybe that’s why a lot of porn is getting so hardcore, or else soulless, it is trying to capture something that is always one step away from the camera… hmmmm.

  2. this isn’t the actual study, just a little article about it. Interesting nonetheless


    • Haha, the “…” after “girl -girl” was originally “monkey-monkey”, and then I thought…. mmmmm maybe I’m making that up and you might think I’m really weird so I deleted it. It appears we may have been thinking of the same study. Pah ha.

  3. Haha! ‘girl girl, monkey monkey’ – that sounds so twee, like a really fucked up nursery rhyme 🙂 I do believe that sexuality (or at least the way we think and talk about our sexuality) is a construct. I’m also with Kinsey on the whole ‘not many people are totally gay/straight’ thing. I think we’re all somewhere in the middle, mostly ‘something’ a little bit ‘something else.’ Plus – the amount of ‘straight’ men I’ve pulled hints that not a lot of people are completely honest with themselves…x

    • I agree with all of the above. 🙂

      (and still laughing at “girl-girl monkey-monkey” -> if I was inspired I’d write a poem)

  4. I’ve just seen this and thought you may like it — David Attenborough narrates Miley’s twerk show… 🙂 x

    • Haha! “And the Robin Thicke, the least secure of all the sunglass wearing primates, attempts to woo the Miley with his repetitive and derivative mating call. Watch, as she undermines him with a twerk. Colour, cruelty, song, dwarves in bear costumes: behold the grisly theatre of nature.” xx

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